The Parrish Family

Update on Life

2010-03-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

So anyone who reads this basically knows that I had my baby girl Isabella on February 19th via repeat c-section.

It was very different this time. We went in around 6am, they got me set up in a room, hooked up to IV's and drew my blood for a CBC count. The nurses had a difficult time finding any vein in my arm or hand so the first IV was in my left elbow region and they said they'd let the annestesiologist find the second one. He came in and wanted to put the second IV in my wrist, which completely freaked me out! I told him if he HAD to I'd deal with it, but I'd rather not. Luckily he stuck the second one in my right elbow region. After waiting a while they finally walked me to the OR where they tried to get my spinal in. It took several attempts and most of them didn't hurt but some were slightly painful and I was trying not to cry. After they got the spinal in I of course started feeling very warm and tingly and they laid me back, strapped me down and AJ got to come into the room. The doromorph that they gave me in my spinal made me SO sleepy. I kept nodding in and out of sleep and tried so hard to stay awake because I wanted to hear the baby cry. Towards the point of them pulling her out I got VERY nauseous and before they could get the meds in to me, I threw up. I felt much better after that.

Isabella was born SCREAMING at 9:31am and was just wonderful. She got an 8/8 on her APGAR as she was having a little color issues the first minute and breathing issues at the 5 minute. They took her and my husband off to the nursery and closed me up. At that point I was really sleepy and just didn't care if I fell asleep. I was wheeled into recovery where I stayed for quite a while, though it didn't seem that long because I slept most of the time.

After recovery I got to my Mother & Baby room where AJ, Madison, and my mom were waiting for me. Isabella was still in the nursery because she was "grunting" a lot. After about 30 minutes they finally wheeled her in, and I got to spend some quality time with my whole family.

The day I was being discharged my Doctor came in and asked me if I planned on having more kids. I told him we probably weren't but who knows what will happen 10 years from now. He wanted to let me know that the scar from my previous c-section had VERY thin uterus around it and if I ever did have more kids I COULD NOT go into labor because it would only take 1 or 2 very good contractions and my uterus would rupture wide open. So he put it in my medical file that I need to have my future c-sections at 37 or 38 weeks. So it was good that I didn't try for a VBAC after all.

I was in the hospital only 48 hours and then I got to go home! That was wonderful as I knew I'd be much happier at home.

Once we were home things were ok. I had a day where I was in so much pain that I was crying and wanted to faint, but it was from me laying on my back and stressing my inside stitches too much. AJ went and bought me a fabulous recliner so I could be more comfortable.

During the time my Mom was here they took Maddie many places. They went to this place called Lil' Bigs which is basically a play place for smaller kids. They also drove up to Denver and went to the Aquarium. There were plenty more places they went, but I honestly don't remember them all.

I finally went out with my Mom a week after my c-section to lunch and to WalMart. Things were pretty good until the end of WalMart where I started feeling a lot of pain and very dizzy. Luckily we came home and I felt much better.

My Mom left this past Wednesday and while I do miss her, it is nice to have my house back to normal and less people.

All in all it's been a crazy 2 weeks but Isabella is healthy and our little family is complete :)

Isabella Samara

2010-03-04T08:24:00.002-08:00

Isabella Samara was born February 19th via c-section.

Weight: 8lbs 12oz

Height: 22inches

She's perfect.

We're Having A Girl!!!

2009-10-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

We had our big ultrasound on October 8th, and found out we are having another little girl. The day was such a mess, but once we found out it was a girl, nothing seemed to matter. AJ managed to lock both my keys and his in my truck, and we really had no idea where he put the spare set. So he spent quite a bit of time trying to break into my car, it was rather hilarious. While I was outside seeing if he could get it unlocked our neighbor Kari drove up and offered to take us to the ultrasound. Right as we were about to leave AJ was able to successfully "break into" my car. So we appreciated Kari's kindness, but we ended up not needing it.

I had been referred to the Fetal Maternal Specialist at Memorial Hospital because I am high risk, and will most likely deliver early, and the hospital here on base doesn't have a NICU. The ultrasound lasted almost an hour and a half, but it was so nice getting to see our little girl, and the technician was so thorough, so I felt confident. I think AJ was a little taken a back by having another girl, as he really wanted a boy, but that feeling left quickly and he is now very excited about a girl.

Since this is our second, and last, baby AJ chose the first name, Isabella. We haven't decided on a middle name, that's my choice, but I am leaning towards Grace. We decided before I got pregnant this time that this would be our last baby, and I'm getting my tubes tied. My pregnancies are so risky, and I get so ill that we know for my health that this will be our last. We also talked extensively about when we are more stable in our lives we plan on adopting an older boy. So I feel confident in our decision about the tubal ligation.

Either way, Isabella is due late February and we cannot wait for her arrival.

Baby #2

2009-08-30T18:18:00.000-07:00

So I am now officially in my second trimester, though no one can seem to agree if I am 14 weeks and 2 days or 15 weeks and 2 days, either way, in my second trimester. I had my nuchal translucency screening test on August 17th and the little baby was just flipping and jumping everywhere. So they of course could not get the measurements they needed. So we went back on August 24th and I was hoping that they could get the measurements and maybe see the gender (as I have many friends who were able to find out as early as 12 weeks). Well baby "ninja" wasn't doing acrobats this time, but was sleeping in an awkward position and was not to be disturbed. So none the less, no measurements, no gender, nada! I am now past the point where the measurements would be accurate, so I will have to wait until my 16 week quad screen test, which is solely a blood test (like I want more of those).

I am seeing a high risk OB every two weeks for multiple reasons. Madison was born 4 weeks early, and due to elevation here in Colorado, it is common for preterm labor, so they really don't want me going to early. I am also a candidate for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I am excited about that because I had so many complications with the c-section. I also have gestational diabetes again, which puts me at risk for a large baby and...of course, preterm labor! Also I have a severely tilted uterus, which is now pressing and growing against my spine, which is causing me tons of discomfort. My blood pressure has been slightly elevated, but nothing they are concerned about yet. I am keeping my blood sugars in balance, and have already lost 5lbs, again, nothing they are worried about.

This pregnancy has been different in many ways, and the same in others. I still have all day sickness, which I had with Madison until 33 weeks. I am much more exhausted this time, and enjoy my daily nap while Maddie is sleeping. I am still having horrid acne as I did with my previous pregnancy. It's this back pain that is really causing me a lot of discomfort.

We are still desperately waiting to find out the gender so that we can go shopping, but due to my tilted uterus and difficulty getting clear pictures they will probably not send me for my Level 2 ultrasound until 22 weeks instead of 18-20. AJ and I have thrown up the idea that we will go to an independent business that does 3D/4D ultrasounds and gender determination but patience is a virtue. So I know we can wait. We have decided if the baby is a boy his name will be Alexander Joseph, after AJ who is Anthony Joseph. Should the baby be a girl she will be Alessa Bryleigh (A after hubby and B after me). Madison is Madison Taylor (M after my mom Minda, and T after AJ's mom Tina). So either way I'd just like to know boy or girl so s/he can have an identity other than "squash" or "ninja".

All in all things are very well with blessing number 2, my tubes will be tied after this baby so even through the horridness, I'm enjoying it.

Just A Quickie

2009-07-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well I have not updated in quite a while, and for those of you who actually read this, here you go!

I am now 9 weeks pregnant according to my LMP, and am really feeling the effect of pregnancy. I am still having slight vomitting, but luckily not a whole lot of nausea. My belly is growing a lot quicker this time, and I am EXHAUSTED. I have also been way hormonal. I am very much crying one moment, and laughing the next. Though Thursday night I was laughing and crying at the same time because I wanted AJ to go get me a Beef & Potato Burrito from Taco Bell, it's insane the mood swings I go through. I had a Doctors appointment on Tuesday, and everything seemed to have gone well. They discussed a lot of my options, including having a VBAC, which made me very happy. I have to go in for blood work on Monday, and have another appointment on August 14th. I also elected to have a NT scan done. Basically it is an ultrasound that they measure the flap of skin behind the babies neck and in conjunction with blood work they can tell you the risk of Downs Syndrome. I would never alter my plans on having a child with a disability, I was just more excited about having an ultrasound. AJ really wants a boy, but he's also said if it's another girl he'd be just as happy. I am on the fence, I'd like either.

We are doing very well in Colorado. I love the weather. It's so nice and cool compared to Tucson, and we get a lot of rain, which I LOVE. We are mostly unpacked minus things we cannot do this second due to one reason or another. AJ finally got his enlistment bonus so 2 weeks ago we went down and bought me a car! I was so happy. It's a 2004 Ford Explorer XLT, it's dark blue with grey interior. It's so wonderful having my own vehicle again, because even though I don't go a lot of places during the day, the fact that I can now, is awesome. So today we decided to go window shopping at Babies'R'Us and Dillards. Since we don't know the gender of the baby yet, we just wanted to look and get an idea for what we wanted. We definitely found a lot of things that we really liked, and looking forward to buying when we find out if it's a boy or girl. Dillards was a lot of fun and we let Maddie walk around and she kept picking up little boy clothes, so I don't know...maybe she knows?

Right now I am watching Planet Earth and relaxing. It's been very rainy all day, and earlier we had such bad thunder it shook the house for a good minute. It's supposed to be this kind of weather for the next 5 days. Should be interesting. I am missing everyone in Tucson terribly, but I don't miss the weather! I feel very lonely during the day, but remind myself that this was a family decision, and hope that I'll learn to make friends here more.

Not a very long post, but it works.

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

Father's Day 2009 was so nice. We started the day off pretty quietly, then we went grocery shopping. I had asked AJ if he wanted to go out to dinner or if he wanted me to make him something. He wanted corned beef and au gratin potatoes, so that's what I made him! We had a great dessert and it was just a nice day.

Sliced and Diced!

2009-06-12T19:46:00.000-07:00

So we finally got our stuff from the movers who were hired by the military. The picked up our stuff on June 5th and said it would be here by Friday, the 12th. Lucky for us though it came early on Wednesday. We were very excited and I could not wait to get our stuff unpacked. Particularly the kitchen stuff so I didn't have to use the cheap pots & pans that we had bought at WalMart to hold us over until the things got here. Well we had already gotten a ton unpacked and I was taking of labels from the whisks we had gotten from our wedding. Being the smart person that I am I didn't even bother looking for scissors and decided just to cut it off with the brand new paring knife, BIG mistake! I had to use some pressure and as soon as it cut through the bottom the knife FLEW down and sliced open my middle finger on my left hand. At first I was just in a little shock and took a look at it, once I started checking the cut out I realized it was bad. It soon started bleeding, and bleeding bad. I started freaking out and AJ looked at it and said, "Yea, we need to go to the ER." So he woke up Maddie, who he had just put down for bed and we all got in the car and headed towards the Hospital on base. We got there and signed in, my finger was still bleeding. So as we were waiting we were talking to other people there who had been waiting hours, and I started regretting our decision to go to the ER, as they are really known for the horrid lengths you will wait. Luckily enough because I didn't need to see an actual doctor, I could go on FastTrack. We probably only waited an hour or so and got called back. By then the bleeding had stopped and the Nurse began washing my wound. I also got a tetanus shot, and the actual shot didn't hurt. After he finished washing my cut it started bleeding again, of course! I am not a big fan of blood and being anemic I get very dizzy quickly, so I told the nurse and doctor that I felt like I was going to faint and they laid me back, and I soon felt better. So they asked me if I wanted stitches, which would leave a smaller scar, or glue that would be quicker. I opted for glue because I've never had stitches and didn't want to experience it. So while it was still bleeding he went ahead and glued it. While the site looked ugly, it at least wasn't bleeding anymore. After the glue he followed up with a band aid and a split so I didn't wiggle my finger and bust the glue. We finally left and that's when the pain started. It hadn't hurt much prior to all this but once we left it started throbbing! Needless to say when we got home I did not continue unpacking and instead went and laid down. I didn't get much sleep Wednesday because my finger was very painful.

Today my finger is feeling much better. I finally took off the original band aid which pulled the glue out, that was painful. But on the other hand (haha! what a bad joke) with the glue off every time I stretch my finger the glue does not pull on the wound. It's starting to heal, but it is for sure going to leave one gnarly scar. So I have a lovely cut on my middle finger on my left hand. Now for the tetanus shot. They gave that to me on my right arm. GOOD GRIEF!! What pain, I woke up this morning and I am hardly able to move my arm and it feels like there is a marble under my skin where they gave me the shot. Also last night I was running a fever and kept having chills. I was so uncomfortable all I could do is cry. My lovely husband has been so good at taking care of me, and thank goodness he had today off! I haven't been able to lift Maddie up, which makes me sad, but it hurts too much.

So here's hoping to I heal quickly and that the pain from the tetanus shot goes away soon, I am so glad those things are boosters for 10 years. Maybe I won't be such a baby when I am 33...

Life In Colorado

2009-06-09T18:44:00.000-07:00

Well we moved from Tucson, Arizona on May 27, 2009 and headed for Colorado! Our flight left at 6:50am, which by the way I will never schedule early flights again, anyway, and we arrived in Denver, Colorado around 9:30am. My very wonderful friend Amy met us at the airport with her boyfriend, Tony. She was kind enough to let us borrow her SUV for a week so that we had a car until ours arrived. We didn't get to spend a lot of time with her because we were really tired and still had close to a 2 hour drive to get to Fort Carson. We got to Fort Carson and after a few minor set backs we were able to get on base and head to the housing office so that we could get the key to our new house to check out. We checked out the house, but it wasn't going to be ready until the 28th so we left and went and stayed at a Comfort Inn, which by the way was very nice and clean. I've had a hard time sleeping since we got to Colorado but people keep telling me it's because of the altitude. The next day we checked out and went back to base to finally sign the lease and get into our house. We went to the store and bought some air mattresses along with groceries and other household items we needed until the moving truck got here with our stuff (and as I write this post, it's still not here). Jena stayed with us until Sunday, where sadly we took her to the airport around 6am, again, no more early flights, and we said our goodbyes. It was so hard not to cry, but I know no matter what we will always be there for each other. Plus we are planning a trip to Tucson in July. Kindly our neighbor had given us a small TV so we at least didn't go crazy with nothing to do.

Now it's been a week since we moved in and a lot of things have changed. We are no longer sleeping on air mattresses. We bought a new box spring and mattress for me and AJ. We have also purchased and received our couch, love seat, coffee table, dining room table and of course AJ's favorite, his new 37" LCD HDTV that he is in love with. Today we had our cable and Internet set up. Our things from Tucson are supposed to be dropped off on Friday, and I cannot wait! I can finally put the rest of the house together, slowly but surely it is becoming a home.

I miss Tucson because of all the people I left behind, but I do not miss the heat! We have not gone above 80 here, and mostly never above 75. For the first week we got lots of rain and even a little hail. Tomorrow it is supposed to be a high of 64 with plenty of rain. I love this kind of weather, to me it heals the soul. I have enjoyed countless nights with the window open listening to the rain and smelling it on the grass. I suppose in that aspect I am grateful that I am having a hard time sleeping, because a lot of this rain is around 3am. It's so peaceful out, and it just soothes all senses.

Maddie is adjusting well enough. Her sleep schedule has been messed up and we are having some what of a difficult time putting her back in it, but at least she is sleeping through the night. I think most of the problem is she has 2 windows in her room and right now all we have is blinds, no curtains, so during the day I think it's too bright for her to sleep. I honestly don't blame her.

AJ is supposed to be receiving his enlistment bonus in a week or so and we can finally go out and buy my new car. We recently paid off our Honda Civic, and plan on buying this new car out right, as we both have agreed that we do not want anymore debt. It will be nice to have a car so that I can go out and explore and especially go up to Longmont to visit Amy.

Well I'm done rambling, going to try and sleep.

Madison's Birthday Pictures

2009-05-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have to make this post very quick, Maddie is currently occupied with some toys, but I know that never lasts long.

I got Madison's Birthday pictures done yesterday, and I wanted to share. She will be 1 year old on May 22nd. I don't know where the time went!!

On another note, I made homemade Beef Stroganoff for dinner. We have not had it in a long time because I had lost my favorite recipe for it. Maddie must have thought it hung the moon because she ate two bowls!! For only being in the 20th percentile for her weight she sure can eat!

Also, AJ will be home in a little over 11 days! We are very excited. Which also means we will be moving to Colorado in about 2.5 weeks, the time sure does go by fast!

Easter & Life

2009-04-19T17:22:00.001-07:00

I have not updated my blog in what seems like forever.

Easter was nice. We had it at my Mom's house. Maddie received 4 baskets filled with wonderful things like books, toys and clothes. We did not get her any candy just cause she's only 10.5 months old. She did however enjoy some carrot cake :)

Shortly after getting home from my Mom's house my Dad came home to say that my Grandma Leota had passed away. She was 90 years old and had suffered a few strokes over the past couple years. The whole family has been heartbroken over the loss, but we know that her time here was spent blessing people with her presence. My Dad & my sister, Chelsea, went to Oklahoma for the funeral and to spend time with some family, they got home this morning.

Last night I threw a surprise birthday party for Jena (April 12th) and Lacy (April 26th). It was a blast. We had a few friends over and we had food and just hung out and socialized.

More tragedy struck close to home this afternoon when Jena let me know her Aunt had passed away. Though not family, I am very close to Jena's entire family, and it was devastating news. My heart and condolences go out to Jena's family.

AJ will be home in about a month, and I am very ecstatic. We have decided to try for another baby, and are very much looking forward to moving to Colorado.
Sorry this is short, but I just needed to jot down recent events.

Here are some of Madison's Easter Pictures, Enjoy!

Colorado, here we come!

2009-03-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

Aj has been gone since December 31st and I'm really starting to miss him. It's not that I didn't miss him before, but I was really trying to prove to myself I could take care of Madison by myself, and trying to just figure out life.

Ever since he was talking about re-enlisting in the Military the thought of "where will we move?" has been in my mind. When he left I was very sad, but excited that soon we will know where our new adventure as a family will take us.

For the past 2 days I have had a gnarly sinus infection, so I haven't felt like doing much and it's been very hard to sleep. I woke up at 8:30 this morning to Maddie screaming, "maaaaaama!" over the moniter so I decided it was probably time to get up. As is with every morning I grabbed my cellphone off the bedside table and checked it. I had 1 new text message from AJ saying, "Get your snow shoes, we're going to Colorado". I was flipping estatic.

I have wanted to move to Colorado for years, and now I get to. Life is falling into place.

We are also getting a new show collie. Deep River's Midnight Rhapsody "Ryder" should be flying here to Tucson from North Carolina on St. Patrick's Day (March 17th). I am so excited. He was born about a day after my Devin died and looks so much like him. Devins breeder contacted me and asked me if I'd like him. We can't wait to have him in our family and now that we are going to Colorado look for him in the show ring!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-11T07:40:00.000-08:00

I've never been an enthusiast of Valentine's Day. It's not because I am bitter, or uninterested, it's solely due to the fact that I have never really remembered it was a holiday until the day of.

This year now being married and having a beautiful daughter, I have decided to celebrate. I had Madison's pictures taken at JCPenny last week, and I am supposed to be able to pick them up on Thursday. I will also be making Chocolate Covered Strawberries with Jena to give out to friends, family and co-workers.

I think a lot of this is sparked by the fact that AJ has now been gone over a month. He graduates today and is off to Tech School in Kentucky until May. My heart breaks every time I go to bed and know he won't be there. I have been staying strong and will continue to do so until we can be back together as a family.

Regardless of that, everything else is going fine. Madison is crawling, and crawling everywhere she is. I was so happy to find Organic melt away fruits for her to use as finger foods. Safeway makes them in their Organics label, and they are just organic freeze dried fruits (apples & strawberries, bananas & mangoes). She loves them.

When I take her to my mom's she loves her little yorkie, JD. Madison has picked up many of his traits and now crawls around with a toy in her mouth and does what we all think is bark! It's hilarious! She is such an animal lover, like me. Her favorite thing to do is play with the animals, and see them.

I went to Target the other day to get a few things and I was so happy when I found a Easter hat & sandals for Madison. I knew I wanted her to have a big floppy hat, but I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to find one. Now I just need to get her a dress and make her a basket. I think I'm going to get her pictures done again for Easter. Aj really likes seeing them because he is really missing her a lot and sad that he isn't here to witness some of her milestones.

I have lost a few pounds, so that makes me very excited. I don't know how many because I am not getting on a scale. I just know my clothes are a lot baggier. I really think that cooking all my meals and not eating out has made a huge difference.

My last day of work is Saturday, February 14th. Its so bittersweet for me. I have been with the same job for just about 6 years. Most of the time I worked 6 days a week. I devoted a lot of my life to the company and was trained in many fields. On the other hand the owners made working life hell. At the store, life was great, I got to be side by side with my partner in crime, er, best friend! But between the owners and one certain brownnoser, work wasn't worth it anymore.

Well I think it's picture time.

And it's a beautiful world...

2009-01-12T17:08:00.000-08:00

I have not updated in forever. So much has happened over the past 4 weeks it's been very busy and hectic.

Christmas was wonderful. We had a great time. AJ and I got lots of wonderful things, and Maddie cleaned out like a bandit. I guess that's what happens when you're the first grandchild and great grandchild :) We had dinner at my Mom's house and opened presents there as well. I was wondering if Maddie would get into it, and she did. She was very good at ripping open paper and taking off bows, as well as trying to put EVERYTHING into her mouth. Here's some of my favorite pictures.

New Years was great and miserable all in one tight little package. Yes, the new year rolled around and I was ready to put 2008 behind me and open new doors. On the other hand New Years Eve was the day AJ left for his training in the Army for almost 5 months. It was very hard dropping him off and knowing I wouldn't see him again until late May.

It's been 2 weeks now since AJ left and Madison and I have been doing very well. I have cut back my work week from Monday - Saturday to now only working Friday and Saturday. It's been a very weird adjustment only working 2 days a week, but I am really learning to appreciate and enjoy spending a lot of time with Madison. Especially now, she is learning new things daily. She has really started wanting to crawl, sits up on her own very well, as well as pull up on things. She is VERY verbal and talks all the time. She has a few words such as: Hi, Dada, Daddy, Goggy (doggy), Kiki (kitty), and baba. It's so cute! I love sitting down and just talking to her. She can't form the words she wants, but you know she's talking to you about something. I keep sending videos to AJ and he says it breaks his heart. It makes me sad too that he is missing it, but by doing this he is providing a future for our family.

I am counting down the days until he comes home. May 20th is the big day, Madison's first birthday is May 22nd, and we are having her party May 24th which I have already started planning for. We are all very excited.

Present, Present, Baby, Dog...Check!

2008-12-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

Well not a whole lot new. We got Madison's pictures done last Wednesday, and the lady at the portrait studio called and told me I could pick them up today. So that's exciting. I can get them in the Christmas cards and out in the mailbox. Last Friday we adopted a little border collie who we have so politely named Ziggy. He is such a cool dog. Our guesses were that he was raised by someone and either got out and they didn't look for him, or he was a stray and is just REALLY smart. He sleeps in his crate at night, and goes to the door when he needs to potty. I will never be able to replace or forget my Devin, but Ziggy has definitely helped heal my heart. Plus, with it being the holidays, what a better gift than adopting a dog and saving his life. He seems grateful. Well this is a very short post, but lots of pictures. Enjoy!

Killing Time

2008-12-02T17:07:00.001-08:00

I'm just trying to kill time while dinner is cooking. Basically I'm avoiding cleaning :)

Survey

What is your husbands name? Anthony (AJ) Joseph Parrish

How long have you guys been married? 1 year, 1 month, 2 weeks

How long did you date? We dated for 4 months, and were engaged about 1.5 years

How old is he? 22, I remember being 22...I can't believe he's younger than me!

Who is taller? AJ is taller, he always makes sure to remind me :)

Who can sing best? Honestly, we both sing pretty well

Who is smarter? We are both smart in our own ways. AJ is fantastic when it comes to mechanic and like math. I am really good with writing and other things.

Who does laundry? Currently we each do our own. When we get stationed somewhere and he is working and I'm not, I will be doing it.

Who pays the bills? I make sure the bills are paid, but we both contribute.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? AJ does currently. It is the closest side to the door, and ever since we dated he always said he slept closest to the door to protect me if anyone should intrude. HOW SWEET!

Who mows the lawn? We don't have a lawn, but AJ cleans the yards, does that count? I'm hoping where ever we get stationed I can grow an organic garden...YUMMY!

Who cooks dinner? I cook dinner because I LOVE it. I can't wait to start culinary school. Once in a while AJ will cook just to suprise me.

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? I am, but I'm usually always the one who is wrong. But when AJ's wrong once he calms down he'll admit it. Then we compromise.

Who kissed who first? He did! He was such a cutie!

Who wears the pants? It depends on the situation. With Maddie I'm the rule setter and enforcer, but he's definitely the man of the house.

Enjoy!

Life Is A Test

2008-12-01T18:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a while, and quite a few things have happened.

First off, I am totally in belief that life is nothing but a series of tests, you either pass or fail. You will always learn from when you pass, and continue being ignorant when you fail. Sometimes they will open your eyes and make you realize just how important life is.

I won't go into much detail, but I lost my collie Devin the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Watching him die in my arms was a life altering experience. I have since that day cried every night for him, and prayed to God to take care of him. I know he is in Heaven playing with all the little kids up there. I miss him terribly though. I wake up everyday now remembering to be thankful for everything I have, and those I love. I guess I learned a hard lesson this year on Thanksgiving.

Secondly Madison had her 6 month check up. She is 14lbs 13.5oz keeping her in the 20th percentile for her weight and 26.2inches moving her to the 70th percentile for her height. She is very healthy the doctor says, and also commented on how smart she was :)

Thanksgiving was good this year. I did a lot of cooking, and we had it at my Mom's place. Madison had such a fun time seeing everyone and getting to eat some of the food.

AJ is leaving for the Army on December 31st where he will be gone for around 5 and a half months. It's going to be a long time for us to be apart, but it's for our family. Afterwards we will know where we are going to be stationed. Should be interesting.

This past Saturday we threw a going away party for Heather. I am going to miss her a lot. We have become really close friends, and I've never had anyone move away. She is so kind and wonderful. She brought me Calla Lilys and a card after Devin passed. I wish nothing but the best for her in the future, and I hope we can stay in touch. It's hard to find friends, let alone great ones.

We went to the Zoo this past Sunday. Jena, Hayden, Heather, Cayden, Cameron, Kerry, AJ, Madison and myself. We had such a great time, and the kids LOVED it. Madison really liked the monkeys, she kept laughing and talking to them. I hope 18 years from now when she's an adult she can at least look back and say that her parents loved to spend time with her, and always made time for play.

I hope who ever reads this turns and looks to their loved ones and just says "I Love You", and I hope you wake up everyday and thank God for what and who you have. I hope you pray and thank Him for protecting those you've lost, and providing for what you have, thank Him for giving you the ability to dream, and always know that you are loved.

Rest In Peace

Deep River's Rhapsody in Blue "Devin"

July 20, 2000 - November 26, 2008

We miss you so much...

Christmas Is Coming To Town!

2008-11-18T16:11:00.000-08:00

So I got the awesome idea from my friend Ashley to design my own Christmas cards. I don't have a lot of free time, but broke my ankle Monday morning so had more time than usual. This is what I came up with. I'm not 100% set on it, but it's my first design. I think I'll tinker more before the final project. (The picture would be also different, we are having Madison's christmas pictures taken soon).

Halloween and fun little happenings

2008-11-09T17:47:00.001-08:00

Our Halloween was a lot of fun, and got to spend it with a lot of great people. After work I went home and AJ and I got Maddie ready and headed over to Jena's grandma's. Once we got to Jena's grandma's we all got into my car and headed to Fry's where we were meeting everyone else. We followed Jessica to Contiental Ranch where we were going to Trick or Treat. There were a lot of people with us this year; Jena's mom, Tony, Jena, Jessica, Elise, Maya, AJ, Madison and myself. We did a lot of Trick or Treating and the kids really loved it. Maddie was really tired and slept most of the time in her stroller. Afterwards we went to In & Out for dinner, their Iced Tea is SO good! All in all we were out probably like 3 hours, and once we got home Maddie went to bed, she was such a little trooper.

Not a whole lot new going on here. AJ finished his physial for the ARMY and now after we tie up some loose ends here he can probably go start his training. They don't send anyone to training during December, so he probably won't leave until after the first of the year, which means he will be home for Christmas!

I had been buying Madison Earth's Best Organic Baby Food so that I could keep the glass jars so I had something to store my homemade in. Well tonight I made her Organic Mangoes! She loved them so much! Everytime I'd go to give her some cereal she'd turn her head away and reach for the mangoes. I love making her homemade baby food, it's really simple, and I love knowing what I'm putting in there. See my very first post, "Why I Choose Organic", for further detail. I am going to make her some teething biscuits soon, as she has been teething really badly. I cannot believe she is going to be 6 months old in a few weeks. I do not know where time went. We just got her 5 month pictures done, but I want to get her 6 months pictures done probably next weekend.

Well it's not a super long post, or really one with any filling, but it's just my random rantings. I hope you enjoyed the pictures though!

Life in Motion

2008-10-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

AJ is leaving for Phoenix today to get his physical to join the ARMY. Long story short, he is not joining the Marines, but the ARMY. I guess it's better because they have more bases around the country and I'd really like to move to Oregon or Washington. I've heard both places are beautiful, and Jena plans on moving up there soon after we do, so even though I'm leaving, I still get to have my best friend with me. With AJ getting his physical though, it means that he's almost done with everyone then will soon be leaving for who knows how long for his training. I'm going to miss him a lot while he's gone, but I know I can handle it.

Maddie is getting SO big! She loves to stand up and dance. She's totally into tummy time now, she's starting to grab for things and scoot a little too. I don't know where time went. Her 6 month appointment is November 24th, I think, but it's still way too fast. We got her Halloween and 5 month old pictures done the other day, I can't wait until they come in. I'm going to have to schedule her 6 month pictures, which aren't super necessary but this dress I bought before she was born finally fits her and I just love it too much not to get some professional pictures of her in it. She's really starting to take to baby food too. We have given her sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, bananas, apples and pears. She loves them all! She didn't like the peas at first, but by the second night she was ok with them. The apples were her favorite. She'd take a bite and go "MMMM!", it's so cute! I could not have asked for a better baby. She has taken to a schedule so well, she knows when it's nap time, she knows when it's time to eat, and most importantly she knows when it's bed time. I don't function well without sleep, so the fact that she goes to bed at 8:30pm and wakes up around 7:00am to eat, then back to bed til 9am, it's a blessing for me! She's really been my inspiration with all that's going on. I'm not coping well with the thought of AJ leaving, and even worse knowing that within the near future I'm going to have to leave everyone I love behind. Change is scary to me.

I don't' know where the future is going to lead us, there will be many paths and many trails, and it's going to be scary. I just hope I'm ready.

Bad Day Turned Beautiful

2008-10-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

The day started out horrible. I woke up after having a really upsetting dream, and knew it wasn't going to be a good day. The morning was shortly followed with a few panic attacks, which I seldom have, but when I do they are quite serious. I started becoming very negative, and when AJ left with Maddie to finish up paperwork with the Marine recruiter, I found myself crying as if I were never going to see them again, luckily I calmed down shortly and took a few more minutes to myself. It took me forever to get the energy or will to get out of bed and get ready for work. Once I got to work, things didn't get much better. First off there are certain people at work I don't trust. I don't feel comfortable with these people to completely open myself up. Secondly, the owners decided to come visit us at work, and were on a tirade. They of course did not have anything nice to say, so long story short, our lives are going to be made hell. I cannot wait until AJ starts the Marines, I'm either hoping not to work at all, or get a part time job somewhere else. I just can't deal with people who have no regard in maintaining a PROFESSIONAL relationship with their employees. After having a few more panic attacks I decided it was time for me to go home, before I started crying again. I called AJ on the way home and let him know how I was feeling, and he lovingly let me know that I needed to come home and rest. I finally got home and found myself unable to rest. I was very upset and wanted to talk to him while Maddie was taking a nap. Maddie shortly woke up from her nap and joined us. Just seeing her made my day brighter, she came around the corner with AJ and began smiling and coo'ing at me. I felt so relieved. Maddie is very advanced in her auditory skills, but has slightly fallen backwards on her physical development, which both her doctors and we decided was due to her prematurity. However, recently, my mother took her to the doctor to have her examined for acid reflux, which came back positive. She began taking medicine to help, and she's become a new baby. Her physical abilities that we were previously worried about, mainly her dislike for tummy time and rolling over, have since disappeared. She spent 20 minutes today on her tummy, lifting her head up, coo'ing, laughing and reaching for things. She soon then discovered she could roll over, and did it multiple times, each time feeling very confident with herself. Even towards the end she started scooting, just a little though. She has also become quite the eater. We started her on Organic Brown Rice Cereal, which must taste like heaven, because you can't seem to get it into her fast enough, which has then led her to want to feed herself. She will grab the spoon out of your hand and into her mouth it goes. I'm having a very hard time coping with the fact she will be 5 months in 1 week.

This Saturday is AJ and I's 1st anniversary. It is so hard to believe that one year ago we were married. It has been a very rough year, but with the blessing of our daughter, it's been a great year. We have a busy day planned including having Madison's pictures taken for her 5 month, and in her Halloween costume. We are then going to start putting our things into a storage unit, so when we move it will be very easy and accessible. Afterwards my mom is going to take Madison for the night and AJ is going to cook me dinner, how romantic!

I can't believe it's been a year, and I can't believe Madison has overcome her hurdles. Though the day started off miserably I reflect back on it now and realize things suck, but what I do have is a blessing.

Pumpkin Patch

2008-10-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

We went to Buckelew Farms yesterday, which is the pumpkin patch here in Tucson. Jena, Hayden, Lacy, Cameron, Jana (Jena's mom), Madison, AJ and myself all went. We had such a great time. AJ and I got there a little earlier than everyone else so we did a lot of walking around. Madison really liked it, there were a lot of new smells and sights for her. After everyone got there Hayden got his face painted with a scarecrow and we looked around the shopping center for a while, I got a nice silver and gold ring. Afterwards we took a hay ride out to the pumpkin fields and began picking out our pumpkins. Lacy held Maddie most of the time, as she hasn't seen her in a while, and Maddie really enjoyed it, she kept smiling at her. We got quite a few pumpkins and even got a few tiny ones for Madison. Jena's mom, Jana, got a few white ones that she was looking for. Cameron got a cupcake looking pumpkin. After picking out pumpkins Jena and I took Hayden to the petting farm hosted by the local 4-H group. Hayden got to pet alpacas, chickens, geese, pigs, puppies, bunnies, goats and a baby cow! He really enjoyed it and they gave him some food to feed to them. We followed that by getting some lunch, then AJ took Hayden to ride around the corn field in pedal cars. Hayden really seemed to enjoy racing AJ, and of course AJ let him win. We spent a total of about 4 hours there, and even though I ended up with a sunburn, it was really all worth it. Doing things like this as a family and with friends makes me realize it's something we have to continue doing. No, Maddie may not remember this when she's 20, but we sure will, and we will remember that it was worth it. Here are some of my favorit pictures from the day.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2008-10-07T20:08:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in a while, simply for the fact, I haven't had time. I work 6 days a week, which is hard, but it just means that every second I get to spend with AJ and Madison is that much more special. I spent all day Sunday cleaning. I had been sick the weekend before, so I had to get cleaning done this weekend. It's not 100% done, but it's close enough.

Madison everyday amazes me. She is "talking" so much more to me now! Her and I lay down for hours and just "talk" back and forth. I love it when she tells me about her day and smiles at me when I talk and sing to her.
We are going to the Pumpkin Patch on Sunday. I'm SO excited! Hayden (Jena's son) said he is going to pick out and carry Madison's pumpkin since, "she's too little, and I'm strong!" I love that kid. It's her first time to the Pumpkin Patch, I hope it's not too cold or windy. It's been very windy this week. I had to send back her first costume because it was WAY too big! She is still only in the 25th percentile for her weight and the 70th percentile in her height (her head is in the 50th percentile), so even now a lot of her 0-3 month clothing still fits, if it's long enough! So I ordered a new one today from Target, it's a little bunny! I'm excited for when it comes in. I'm trying to make sure I capture all her firsts as much as possible.

Next month we are going to go to the Dog Show. I showed dogs when I was younger. Devin is my retired show collie, and I really hope Madison gets into it, it's a really fun and exciting hobby. Of course I hope she also gets into playing the Violin, however I'm not going to pressure her into anything, simply suggest and support her decisions. Anyway, the dog show should be a lot of fun, I know it's going to be colder then, so we'll have to get her a really cute jacket. She loves animals so much already. Marley, our cat, sleeps in her crib and she pets and "talks" to her all the time. She also loves Devin, the collie, she likes to feel his fur and talk to him. We will probably also go to the Zoo as Hayden has been really wanting to go and Madison will be 6 months old, so she may enjoy it a little more than she would now.

We are hopefully getting our own apartment in the next few months. The original plan was that my parents were going to give us their house, but AJ is re-enlisting in the military, this time in the Marines. So before he goes to Boot Camp in January, he is moving me and Madison into an apartment. I'm going to take Devin and Marley with us (of course Shelly the turtle too.) mainly because Marley is a cat, very easy to take care of, and I love having Devin around and he's so protective and in love with Madison.

I don't quite know how life is going to unfold in the next year, I guess we're going to have to play it day by day. And that's OK with me!

Change, it's good...right?

2008-09-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

Life is certainly changing. I'm having to make a lot of decisions in the next 3 months that could effect my family for the rest of our lives deeply. How I should handle this is my problem. I do not want my decision to be based upon my insecurities or fears. I do want what is best for my family, and if this is the decision I have to make, I will. I'm so scared of change. I think it's because my life is in a rut right now. Not a horrible rut, but none the less, a rut. I've had the same job for almost 6 years, which is not a bad thing, just very repetitive. I do not feel mentally stimulated at all at work. I'm ready to go back to school, that is a certain. I know that deep down in my heart I have to do this. It's going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's only with best intentions. Slowly over the next 3 months I will be able to prepare myself, but for now it's all up in the air. The decisions, both optimistic and pessimistic are pulling me in two directions. Part of me is excited. Change is new, it's exciting. The thought of happiness and security is also very reassuring. I'm just spending a lot of time in my head. I'm not talking to many people, which is OK, I know I will get back to normal. I'm grateful that I am an organized, obsessive compulsive, I am able to keep notes and reflect on my thoughts as often as possible, even if my head is cluttered with mind numbing thoughts.

I know the strength is inside of me. I have to remind myself that this is for my family, and they are everything to me.

Tinkering

2008-09-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

I had seen that my friend Ashley has been using a program called Lightroom, so I decided to take a look. I don't have a lot of time during the week, and Sunday is my only day off from work, so while Maddie was taking a nap I had a few minutes to tinker around. What do you guys think?

Life, Or Something Like It...atleast

2008-09-17T21:02:00.002-07:00

I am having a hard time coping with life at the moment. I'm sure everyone feels that way one time or another. My only pure joy is my daughter. I am thankful every minute of everyday she has blessed me. I just need space, I think. Honestly, I'm not sure what I need. I need a place to think, a place to relax, a place to reflect on WHY I should be happy. Unfortunatly, I don't have any of this, and am stressed out beyond recognition. I do feel I am shutting people out, but I just have to at the moment. I am not in talking mood. I do not want to share with everyone what is going on. My mind has shut itself off from the outside world. I am a hermit in my own brain. I'm certain someday things will be exposed, but for now, I cannot face it. I go to work, and come home. I spend every waking minute that I can with Madison, for she is the only true happiness I feel at the moment. I love my husband, I do, but sometimes he knows it's best just to leave me to my thoughts. The warm smile and comfort Madison gives me, however, makes me realize, if only for a second, that there is beauty in this world.

I do suppose that on a brighter note I have followed my diet strickly for the past two days in conjunction with working out. It makes me feel better. This is the only one element I have control over, and I'm going to embrace it all that I can.

Thank you all for your love and support, I do cherish it, even if I am having a hard time showing it.

Determind

2008-09-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is a new day. Jena and I have decided that tomorrow will be the day we change our lives around. I am tired of being overweight. I am tired of not enjoying my life. I AM TIRED OF IT! I am having my "last supper" tonight, and eating junk food. Starting tomorrow a lot of changes. I know I will never be 19 or 20 again, but I was so happy back then, and I know I can be that happy again!

First, I start my diet. I am no longer going to live by what I eat. I am going to eat healthy. I am going to cook all my meals, and take all my lunches to work. I'm not going to snack because I'm bored. I'm giving up soda as well. I'm only drinking water until I get to the shape I want. I'm not going to reward my weight loss with food. I'm going to put $1 in a jar for every pound I lose. After all the money I am getting a tattoo!!! I'm so excited.

Second, I'm being more organized. I have recently learned that AJ & I are going to receive my parents house as a gift. I'm am very excited about that. However, I want to start cleaning out the clutter now so when we do renovations, it'll be much easier. I'm no longer going to let messes pile up, I'm so tired of it!

Third, I'm saving money! I'm no longer going to buy my lunches at work. I'm going to pack my lunch so that I know it's nutritious and good for me. I am not going to buy water bottles all the time. I bought one case, and I am going to reuse those bottles, for the great good of money and the earth. We are not going to buy frivolous things anymore either. We are going to budget ourselves to get out of debt quicker. After we are out of debt, we are remodeling the house to our dream house.

Last but not least, Forth, I am going to love myself more. I am going to realize that even though things can get bad, they can be worse. There are people out there who do not know love. And in the end, isn't love really all that matters?

Why I Choose Organic

2008-09-10T09:49:00.001-07:00

Madison is now almost 4 months old. I cannot believe it. She went from this tiny helpless baby to doing many things on her own. She holds and shakes her rattle, lifts her head up and babbles endlessly to us. We are starting to embark on a new adventure with her, baby food. I had started her out on Organic Oatmeal Cereal in her bottle a little less than a month ago, and we have had great success with that. I chose not to do rice because of it's very high glycemic indexes, and with obesity running in my family I want to give her the best chance. Oatmeal is just filled with so many wonderful nutrients that rice cannot provide. I chose organic because I feel that a lot of health problems in the recent decades is mainly due to an over abundance to chemicals and genetically modified ingredients in our diets and everyday lives. Some might argue that there is not enough research to prove this, but I feel there is with such an epidemic for poor immune systems and disease aplenty. Last week we started spoon feeding her the oatmeal cereal and like a pro she started taking it. We also almost a month ago started her on very diluted organic apple or pear juice. This was on the advice of her at home nurse, she is part of the infant intensive care unit because Madison was born prematurely, to help deal with her constipation. It has worked like a charm. Now that we are embarking on our baby food adventure, I have also stuck to organic. We have already tried sweet potatoes, and they were a huge hit. I think next we will try peas. Since she is already on fruit juices, I would like to get her accustomed to vegetables first. I also bought a food processor and am going to begin making my own foods once I run out of all the organic jarred foods. I wanted the jars to store/freeze my homemade. Making my own gives me the confidence in knowing what ingredients I am using, and also gives me such a sense of self accomplishment. I am looking forward to home making her teething biscuits and other finger foods. I'm doing extensive research and have ordered many books on the subject. I really enjoy cooking and baking, so this goes hand and hand. I am providing the best for my family. I try to buy as much organic as I can for AJ, my dad and myself, however, organic is VERY expensive, especially free-range meat products. I do try though. Eventually we will be all organic and mostly recycled products as well. I'm trying to do my part for mother earth and what is best for my family.

I have also started giving her more of a holistic lifestyle. I feel so torn in regards to vaccinations. I know they have wonderful benefits, but the risks with the preservatives also frightens me. I have chosen to get her vaccinated, but found a homeopathic detoxifier made for babies and children to help the preservatives work their way out of the body, so they have no time to linger and build up in places like the liver and kidney. I feel very blessed to have been studying holistic and naturopathic alternatives for the past 5 years. I know that it will help us all be healthy in the long run. It is nice that we are all taking this step forward as a team. We are using less chemicals and using more natural things to provide a healthier home. We are starting to produce less waste and recycle more. It makes me feel very good at the end of the day. Plus, aren't they worth it?